both sides now..

the great joni mitchell

the first time ive heard of joni mitchell was actually in europe when being there for 12 days in a busTour with other tourists, a canadian gurl told me about her. She was comparing her to another popular canadian artist (oh crap forgotten her), while me, i was so Alanis i forget all about joni.

thne it popped up again in the movie 'love, actually' about the wife and the husband's loveStory, and that she found a lovely necklace in his pocket, all hyped out that it was her Christmas present, only later found out that she gotten the latest joni mitchell album instead.

although she was a great fan of joni, and very thoughtful of him to actually and finally get her something she would really like and treasure (instead of scarfs she would never wear..haha typical), the damage has been done.
As the children and the husband waited for her to attend a christmas show in the living room, she went up to her room , put on the joni album and cried all by herself. it took her just minutes to get herself together, and move on like everything was ok.

later in the story, she did finally confront him, and its the way she did it, that u'd know, she has questioned something she believed in so much ...
and how she feels love has been around has always been around, and yet it betrayed and confuse her...
in the end, she stayed.. because it is Love, actually..

'both sides now' by joni mitchell is one of the soundtrack from that motion picture. I can relate to the lirics, because at some point of my life, i seen love this way too. Ive witnessed how love have betrayed me, crushed me and at some point made me the flavour of the weak.
But looking at it both sides, ive also looked at love, as a fresh new air, the next best thing, the one that will be standing there, if not forever, just as long as my life would lead..
Ive also learned that for every happiness door that closes on me in the past, i waited in front of it too long, i missed the other doors that were opening for me.
good thing i finally did knock on the right one. ( " ,)

(enjoy!)

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons evrywhere
Ive looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on evryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

Ive looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its cloud illusions I recall
I really dont know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As evry fairy tale comes real
Ive looked at love that way

But now its just another show
You leave em laughing when you go
And if you care, dont let them know
Dont give yourself away

Ive looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
Its loves illusions I recall I really dont know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
Ive looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say Ive changed
Well somethings lost, but somethings gained
In living evry day

Ive looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all

Ive looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
Its lifes illusions I recall
I really dont know life at all


22nd August 2008